Dr. Reese says that I worry too much about my friends, that I am overly concerned with their well-being so that I can ignore my own problems. It's possible. It's probable, if I have to be honest. But...how can I stop? How can I not worry about Tess getting her heart broken by this boy from Day School; Barbara working herself into the ground with her grueling training schedule; Dawn, Stacey, Abby, Loes, Jo, even my new friends, Hannah and Angie...Susan Taylor's stepmother sounds like such a mean woman, I just have such an urge to run and hug Sharon.

Even Sunny. I worry about Sunny all the time.

But Claudia...Claudia is taking up so much space in my heart. I'm so concerned: there's something wrong with her, I can feel it like I can my own body. She's so self-critical, she's so unsure, and then...she gets so calm.

She reminds me of me when I was in the worst of my illness. Not entirely, I...don't think she's as bad as I was, but...something is wrong, and whatever she is using to make it "better" isn't working. I don't think she's on drugs...I just don't know. I'd give anything for Claudia to see how brilliant and amazing she is, the way we see her. Still, if there is anything I know, it's that when you have your mind made up that you are...lacking, somehow, how incredibly blind you can be. And how incredibly alone, too.

I just don't know how to help her. I hope she knows how much I want to. Anything she needs.

I don't want anyone, anyone, to end up like me.